For three days, I've been getting this call from a number I did not recognize. It never left a message, which creeped me out. On the third day it jingled my dingle, I finally picked up and demanded, "who is this?"

It was a recorded message, saying it had "feedback on my lab results" from my crotch doctor's office. I was supposed to get the results within two weeks, but I had lost the PIN number to access them. Sheesh.

As I hung up on the Automated Vagin-A-Matic Machine, I thought, oh no, Lassie! Something's wrong with Snoopy!

So I finally called Dr. Beave, and much to my embarrassment, had to tell him I had lost the PIN number to my vagina. I mean, snoopy.

I feel so cold and automated *sniff* Hold me.


WARNING: AudioBlog contains a few references to deep jungle crotch rot.

I think this whole process has become a little impersonal, don't you?