I am so easily offended.

Guess what THIS is trying to sell:

Notice the couple is CLEARLY dry-humping. And he is NOT initiating oral. Selfish prick...well, maybe he is. To her hat. Fetishist.

You'll never guess what this porny ad is for.

No, not:
-laundry detergent
-Viagra
-condoms
-Butterball lunch meat
-preventative genital herpes medication
-Odor Eaters
-anti-leakage maxi pads
-spot remover

But....INK CARTRIDGES.

FACK. Now we've got spooging in cereal and ink cartridges? What next, squeeze mayonnaise?!

When will the advertising world develop an ounce of shame? That's what this country needs. MORE SHAME. Now go sit in the corner and think about what you did...but first, this thing I got in the mail.


WHAT THE?!

How is TIDE supposed to get you "closer to your people"? I know I live in a very integrated neighborhood, but...wrong demographic, assholes! I am not "tropical, como usted"! I am wery beeg, bed, Russian polar bear of pissed-offeness! Where's my racially targeted advertising? Where's MY "Tide. It smell like beeg, Russian detergent bear. Like armpit in winter. You buy-!"

Discriminatory asshole stereotyping advertising pigs. Just for that, they have to buy me a White Russian and a loaf of bread. And some toilet paper. For Big Russian-Polish-Irish ??? Ass. And wodka. And some NAIR. And a potato.

Fuckers.

P.S. Fuck you, Pillsbury Doughboy. I hate you and your stoOpid Russian frolicking commercial, where everybody's mouth hangs open like this: ()
ANNOYING!! and also gross...who wants to see some brat's mouthful of partially masticated cookie dough?! And for your information, Mr. Giggly Lardass, I can enjoy cookies perfectly well without milk. I eat your shitty cookies raw, with a knife, and a bottle of Jack.


I SPIT IN YOUR BST-INFESTED MOO JUICE.

Bah. Feh...hork. Hork. HORK. Ptoooey....!

Milk makes me congested.

Thank you.