Friday, November 05, 2004
AS REQUESTED
In response to the perverted Unknown Googler who Googled this (see title). I'm not really qualified to answer, but here goes:
AS REQUESTED101 THINGS
TO SHOVE UP YOUR VAGINA
TO SHOVE UP YOUR VAGINA
**THIS SHOULD ONLY BE ATTEMPTED BY A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL**
1. this 51. wedding invitation
2. that 52. five golden rings
3. wiffle ball bat 53. streamers
4. mini-blender 54. wristwatch
5.cactus potato 55. Crisco
6. hairbrush 56. an Eskimo named Nanook
7. squeak toy 57. spliff
8. Post-It reading "get Pap Smear" 58. the best soy latte that you've ever had
9. me 59. Mr. Ed (glue stick)
10. #2 pencil 60. 1/2 dozen roses
11. curling iron (in "off" position) 61. string cheese
12. spork 62. Life's Little Instruction Book
13. dong 63. lawn jockey
14. won ton 64. yard gnome
15. Long Duk Dong 65. pinwheel
16. carrot peeler 66. a thing that goes "hmmm"
17. spatula 67. the purple monster on my desk
18. party tooter 68. dead tarantula
19. a penis 69. postage
20. squeaky toy 70. Hot Wheels
21. corncob pipe 71. Happy Meal
22. button nose 72. Filet O Fish
21. two eyes made out of coal 73. mixed nuts
22. fake moustache 74. tossed salad
23. piano key 75. lava lamp
24. saxophone reed 76. A Republican...not.
25. Drildo™ 77. purple weasel
26. overripe banana + yeast = banana bread 78. stunt gerbil
27. kumquats 79. cherry pie
28. starfruit 80. Warrant tape from 1989
29. humuhumunukunukuapua'a 81. steamed asparagus
30. raindrops on roses 82. artichoke hearts
31. whiskers on kittens 83. feather boa
32. bright copper pennies 84. The Vagina Monologues
33. blue satin sashes 85. the Holy Grail
34. snowflakes 86. hole puncher
35. my nose 87. hole in one
36. ice cubes 88. cream cheese
37. Ice Cube 89. lima bean
38. refrigerator magnet 90. map to clitoris
39. a partridge in a pear tree 91. incense
40. your own personal Jesus 92. peppermints
41. Elmo 93. love letter
42. Barney's tail 94. Slinky
43. Heffalumps 95. mouse trap
44. Woozles 96. smuggled drugs
45. Gumby 97. rubber chicken
46. Pokey 98. Silly Putty
47. G.I. Joe 99. bottles of beer/red balloons
48. My Little Pony 100. silly rabbit, Trix are for kids
49. Barbie's entire head 101. Dalmations
50. bonsai
Items that didn't make the cut:
Glade Air Freshener
mongoose
red hots
parsely
sage
rosemary
thyme
DVD
CD
STD
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer's red nose
a pink carnation
the lime
the coconut
Bacardi Mixers
the Ace of Spades
a shoehorn
Pee Wee Herman
egg beater
an elbow
George W. Bush
What?! That's his name.
1. this 51. wedding invitation
2. that 52. five golden rings
3. wiffle ball bat 53. streamers
4. mini-blender 54. wristwatch
5.
6. hairbrush 56. an Eskimo named Nanook
7. squeak toy 57. spliff
8. Post-It reading "get Pap Smear" 58. the best soy latte that you've ever had
9. me 59. Mr. Ed (glue stick)
10. #2 pencil 60. 1/2 dozen roses
11. curling iron (in "off" position) 61. string cheese
12. spork 62. Life's Little Instruction Book
13. dong 63. lawn jockey
14. won ton 64. yard gnome
15. Long Duk Dong 65. pinwheel
16. carrot peeler 66. a thing that goes "hmmm"
17. spatula 67. the purple monster on my desk
18. party tooter 68. dead tarantula
19. a penis 69. postage
20. squeaky toy 70. Hot Wheels
21. corncob pipe 71. Happy Meal
22. button nose 72. Filet O Fish
21. two eyes made out of coal 73. mixed nuts
22. fake moustache 74. tossed salad
23. piano key 75. lava lamp
24. saxophone reed 76. A Republican...not.
25. Drildo™ 77. purple weasel
26. overripe banana + yeast = banana bread 78. stunt gerbil
27. kumquats 79. cherry pie
28. starfruit 80. Warrant tape from 1989
29. humuhumunukunukuapua'a 81. steamed asparagus
30. raindrops on roses 82. artichoke hearts
31. whiskers on kittens 83. feather boa
32. bright copper pennies 84. The Vagina Monologues
33. blue satin sashes 85. the Holy Grail
34. snowflakes 86. hole puncher
35. my nose 87. hole in one
36. ice cubes 88. cream cheese
37. Ice Cube 89. lima bean
38. refrigerator magnet 90. map to clitoris
39. a partridge in a pear tree 91. incense
40. your own personal Jesus 92. peppermints
41. Elmo 93. love letter
42. Barney's tail 94. Slinky
43. Heffalumps 95. mouse trap
44. Woozles 96. smuggled drugs
45. Gumby 97. rubber chicken
46. Pokey 98. Silly Putty
47. G.I. Joe 99. bottles of beer/red balloons
48. My Little Pony 100. silly rabbit, Trix are for kids
49. Barbie's entire head 101. Dalmations
50. bonsai
Items that didn't make the cut:
Glade Air Freshener
mongoose
red hots
parsely
sage
rosemary
thyme
DVD
CD
STD
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer's red nose
a pink carnation
the lime
the coconut
Bacardi Mixers
the Ace of Spades
a shoehorn
Pee Wee Herman
egg beater
an elbow
George W. Bush
What?! That's his name.
That is - mercifully - all for now.
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