What do you call people who lurk in the bathroom while you are trying to poop? Uncle Teds, according to this classic e-thingy.

I hate those guys. But what do you call Uncle Teds if they're female...?

It's even worse if you're a woman. Women not only lurk, they stand in there for nine hours arranging their hair oh-so-carefully to resemble a freshly laid crap for that just-spooged-on look. They will not leave until you are actually considering pulling up your britches and stomping upstairs to use the can up there. Where you will probably encounter yet another asscheese-sniffing, hair-primping, whoreface-applying commode stalker.

Does anyone have a strategy for dealing with these dinks?

Personally, I clear my throat a few times. Failing that, I release a warning shot of Lysol®. Failing that, I let 'er rip.

That oughta show them.

Lousy crappy crapper denizens. Sometimes, I think they forget what the restrooms are actually intended for. POOPING.

Thank you.