Tuesday, March 29, 2005


So Jerky was edjumacating me about Korean food and what's in it and I still happily scarf it up, anyway.

Especially kim chi, which makes me gassy as all get-out and which she informs me is often fermented in a bucket under the sink next to the household cleaning products, and I still don't care.

My grandma used to grow sprouts under there.

My (Easter European, practically living in Mexico) grandma also used to pickle watermelon rind in the fridge, and I would munch it down (my dad and I are called "The Hoovers" for a reason) even though I can only imagine what kind of gas that gives you. Probably green, pickled, noxious mushroom clouds of it.

My friend Joe's mom would make green Jell-O molds with bits of canned asparagus suspended innit and the old man would slurp that stuff right up.

On my mom's side, my grandpa enjoys his Saltines in a glass of milk (eyyeccch) and he will chew, but not swallow, his meat. Apparently, my great grandma, his mom, Beullah "Missouri" Belle, told him it was bad for his digestion. Which, if you think about it, is sort of true. So growing up, I thought it was normal for people to have chewed-up balls of meat furtively stashed under the iceberg lettuce on their plates.

That is probably why I went vegetarian for 10+ years, in fact, until I left Texas.

Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that they used to eat scrambled cow brains for breakfast and liked it, but prefer not to discuss it, especially since that whole It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Cow thing. Thankfully.

I don't know if these customs are "from de old country", redneck, Mexican, or just...disgusting.

Did your grandparents do any of this or are we just nucking futs...?


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