Wednesday, March 30, 2005


I'd like to shake his hand...!

There are lots of unpleasant things about riding the bus, but this guy (as well as the one I sat next to this morning, who had Tourette's), and well...not paying $2.75 at the pump, while avoiding even crazier guys panhandling while squirting your windshield with dirty water without your permission...that...kind of makes it all worthwhile.

On the ride home, I got to wondering about that man. Who is the guy who belongs to the voice which announces, "APPROACHING...MELROSE...AND BRONSON"?

Sometimes the bus drivers use this auto-announce hoopijoob when they don't feel like bellowing out, SUUUUUUNNNNSEEEEET! which is good, because most of them are kind of freaky-scary, and I couldn't understand them, anyway.

But then some of them don't use any announcements at all, which is shitty if you don't know where you're going, because, durrr, you've never been there before. So I actually quite appreciate the auto-announcer, Mysterio. Plus bus drivers tend to get surly if you ask them things, like, will they please pull forward, because they have run over your foot.

Sometimes, Auto-Announcer Guy has to say some really f---ed up shit, like, "APPROACHING...CHACACHACA AND GASSER...FOLLOWED BY...CACAPOOPOO AND HUAHUAHUAHUA *retching noise*..." or, "APPROACHING...HOOKER AND DRILLDOE."

It's a sketchy part of town, folks. What can I say.

And he does it all with a straight fac...er, straight disembodied voice. Wow!

So, AAG, I salute you...!

I would ask the bus driver who you are, but I'm not supposed to have "unnecessary conversations" with him or he will fine me $250.


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