For Brenda and Liz...first of all, f--- you for making me do this. Flargh, I don't do memes, but it's Monday, and I can barely...f-----sdg;ktje[[/.!!!

Their instructions are: Once you're done you point this meme at three people you think will be cool with putting in a good two cents on it. Don't forget to add a profession to the end of the list with a link to your meme!

My instructions are: NO. But you can do it if you want. Not that everyone in the Western world but me hasn't done this already, because I'm surly like that.

The (@#$%!!!ing, F--- This List) List
If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre)
If I could be a bonnie pirate...(By Teach)
If I could be a servicemember...(By Jeremy)
If I could be a business owner...(By Blue 944)
If I could be an actor... (By Blue 944)
If I could be an agent...(By KelBel)
If I could be video game designer...(By KelBel)
If I could be a comic book artist...(By Stoli)
If I could be a hooker...(By Pollo Loco)
If I could be a crack addict (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a porn star (by Elizabeth)
If I could be a f*cking meme...(Pisser)
If I could be a serial killer...(Pisser)
If I could be a dung beetle...(Pisser)

If I could be an architect...I would build a feline utopia with a 2,000 mile wide moat around it containing bitey things like stinging jellyfish and evil phosphorescent sea-leeches and sharks capable of launching bombs at assholes who try to catch them just to be assholes. I would only have a two-lane causeway to the island because not that many people would be allowed to come there as people in general piss me off.

Anyone already on the island who pissed me off would be immediately ejected via catapult, followed closely by all their sh*t...and I DO mean sh*t.

If I could be a doctor...I would get in beeg tr-ouble for malpractice because I would arbitrarily decide who should be allowed to reproduce and go around zapping people's 'nads just because they pissed me off. I would tell them I was just giving them free bonus electrolysis for being such hairy trolls and next thing they would know, they'd be 'nadless wonders.

I should not be a doctor. I am not allowed.

(How many of these got-damned things do I have to do?!)

If I could be a llama-rider...(by Ogre) Who t.f. is Ogre? I actually like this one.

If I could be a llama (rider), I'd llama in the morning. I'd llama in the evening. All over this land (who's gonna clean that up?) I'd llama out a warning. I'd llama out danger. I'd llama out love between my brothers and sisters. All over this land. Like, Llama llama ding-ding, or some shit.

Thank you for tolerating this llama...I mean, lame Monday. Llama-llama. *ptooey*

Oh, what the hell. If they haven't done it already, I hit Zombie Flyboy, Grand Hamster-Master Anne, and f---ing Joe McPuppet, just because I know they'll f--- it up real good. You can all feel free to ignore my llama shit-slinging. I know I do. Doo.