Tuesday, May 31, 2005


Because I have all the intellect of a roadkilled squirrel on a Monday...yeah, so it's Tuesday. You wanna make something of it, pally?!

My ass is tardy.

My ungracious ass had been tagged (not tapped) by Junebugg and it is one sorry tardy ass, indeed.

Therefore, I give you this meme because I can't think of a better idea today than to send you somewhere else, hopefully to someone with half a brain cell that is not currently occupied by wearing a grass skirt, shakin' it (badly) and singing "Kumbaya" (also badly).

The rules are really simple. All you have to do is pick someone (or sometwo or somethree) from your blogroll and post (on your site) just what makes them linkworthy. I mean, there's obviously a reason that you allow them to take up that valuable real estate on your site, right? But who do you pick?

I pick these guys because a) they make me smile and/or snort derisively, b) they do not make me puke (always a bonus!) and c) I think they are deserving of more love.

If I did not pick you, it's because a) your delinquent ass never posts, or b) you have enough love. Cram it in your toaster, butter butt.

THE ENTITY FORMERLY KNOWN AS BOZ - The fourth incarnation of Boz, to be exact. He is funny. He is cranky. He hates feminine hygiene products, yet he posts girly pics. Also, he reminds me of Dylan, and of this song by Terry S. Taylor:

Tomatoes and potatoes and peas...
I put 'em in my hat, and I eat 'em just like that.
I put 'em in my ears and in my soup.
I put 'em in my pants, and I do a little dance
It always seems to take away my blues.

I don't know why. But seriously.
What more do you people want?! You make me sick.

AVATAR - yeah, I know, she gets enough (ha) but The Avatar is a most gracious provider of free ass. FREE ASS-! WARNING: ASS AREA! Need I say "free ass" some more...? No, I think not.

At times, so NSFW you will experience whiplash as you scramble in vain to get away, but alas, you cannot - the ass is mesmerizing you. Fortunately she has provided one of those nifty "Run Away! Run Away-!" buttons. Also, she can write. There are many hilarious anecdotes as well, if you're not a fan of ass. (Personally, I'm trying to cut down a little.)

Also, just because she provides free ass? Does not mean you should send her photos of your meat and two veg. Just because she likes her meat and two veg doesn't mean she wants to see YOUR peas 'n baby carrot. That is just uncalled for, unnecessary and very uncouth, not to mention...well, just gross. What the hell is wrong with you people...?

KAT'S STUFF - Kat is in the process of moving, so like, don't hassle her too much. However, she f---ing KILLS me. A Texas girl, who, like myself, wonders what the hell with our bass-ackwards state...eh. It's not nearly as bass-ackwards as CA, but isn't there a happy medium?! We do not know. Kat has a real way with words and I find myself repeating humdingers like, "freaked me right the (censored) out" and "hot as all damnit." I will miss her accounts of her good 'ol boy (sexually harassing) boss, but I'm sure she'll have many wonderful new adventures when she relocates to a state farther east (such as attempting to buy canned chili beans without some sort of disgusting spaghetti innit.)

- Dirty Dan introduced me to this boy wonder. I still don't know quite what to make of him, but what I do know is...his name JoE! He used to have a puppet show for Jesus! Then, something bad happened, Joe almost died, and CHRIST DIDN'T SHOW UP! How rude.

Fortunately JoE has GIRL! Girl go to methadone clinic, but she fine now. Go! GO! Go and see JOE!! Even though sometimes, he scares me.

ALL ANNE, ALL THE TIME - This woman has a quirky way with words. She also has a (deceased) hamster and the lovely Janet, who has a deviant, cross-dressing ex called "The Tapeworm." Also a car named Spot who craps out a lot. Again, I repeat - what more do you people want?! Jizzmus Creeps Almighty.

Go on, now. Shoo.


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