Wednesday, June 01, 2005
PISSER CAN'T COME OUT TO PLAY
I am too mildly irritated.
After spending the weekend doing decidedly un-summery things (I didn't have ONE hot dog...not one!) my nose is still out of joint.
Somehow, I managed to get roped into taking care of not one, not two, but FOUR extra cats at two other apartments. What the...? Do I not look insane enough already?!
However, this was fun, for the most part, but the neighbor's cat bit the CRAP out of me for no apparent reason. Now I have the rabies.
Eh, well. You probably won't even notice the change in my personality.
Then, a now former friend sent me an invitation for EDiets.com. The gall of that gal...!
Do I:
a) kill her
b) just maim her...a little
c) break into her apartment and put Icy Hot® in the crotch of all her panties
d) poke holes in her diaphragm
e) perm her cat
f) put Nair® in her shampoo
g) convince the Chippendales to take her out dancing and then humiliate her by all being gay as Froot Loops on fire on Madonna on a home makeover show...? Nah, she would probably like that.
h) take unflattering photos of her ass and then e-mail them to her
Oh, wait. She does h) to me all the time. Maybe then i) should just break her camera.
It's 9:37. Has anyone pissed you off yet...?
PISSER CAN'T COME OUT TO PLAYAfter spending the weekend doing decidedly un-summery things (I didn't have ONE hot dog...not one!) my nose is still out of joint.
Somehow, I managed to get roped into taking care of not one, not two, but FOUR extra cats at two other apartments. What the...? Do I not look insane enough already?!
However, this was fun, for the most part, but the neighbor's cat bit the CRAP out of me for no apparent reason. Now I have the rabies.
Eh, well. You probably won't even notice the change in my personality.
Then, a now former friend sent me an invitation for EDiets.com. The gall of that gal...!
Do I:
a) kill her
b) just maim her...a little
c) break into her apartment and put Icy Hot® in the crotch of all her panties
d) poke holes in her diaphragm
e) perm her cat
f) put Nair® in her shampoo
g) convince the Chippendales to take her out dancing and then humiliate her by all being gay as Froot Loops on fire on Madonna on a home makeover show...? Nah, she would probably like that.
h) take unflattering photos of her ass and then e-mail them to her
Oh, wait. She does h) to me all the time. Maybe then i) should just break her camera.
It's 9:37. Has anyone pissed you off yet...?
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