Wednesday, July 06, 2005


I need to stop eating magic mushrooms before bed or something.

The weekend was for shit because I kept dreaming about work and my co-workers. This needs to stop.

Shouldn't I be getting paid for this? For one, my boss kept walking in and out of rooms, stomping around the way he does, patrolling the perimeter - but he always does that. He was just passing through.

Also, in the dream, I was moving into a house with a bunch of guys from Editorial, but we each had separate rooms with little doors on the outside which could be opened to get to the kitty litter box(es). I do not know why we had gritty kitty litter, there were no cats in the house - but for some reason, in order to get a message to anyone you had to stick it in their litter box.

I know. No more hallucinogens before bed.

There is also the problem of this oddly attractive corporate anomaly who keeps buggering my subconscious. I do not even know why I find him strangely attractive, he has kind of a weird head. Sort of like a giant pumpkin. And Jack O' Lantern teeth. And he wears these weird, orthopedic-looking shoes like maybe his feet are retarded also.

At least, that's what I keep trying to tell myself, because pumpkins don't like me or something.

What I'm really afraid of is that, some time in the last three years, I have lost it. Now I'm not so sure that I ever had it. Or what it even is.

In any case, I feel horribly rejected by life in general, manic-depressive, hideously ugly, and last night I had another dream where somebody made a remark about my back fat and I became terribly offended, instead of just killing them like usual.

This is worrisome, these hysterics. It could just be this bad haircut, or maybe my chemistry is out of whack. Stupid uterus and its antics. Maybe I should just go to the doctor and beg him to yank it out, because I'm not using it - I am a horrid, horny hairball of hormones with legs right now.

Do not attempt to pet me or give me any cheese.

Unless you happen to be a pumpkin. In that case, please leave your number in my kitty litter box. Thank you.


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