I had something meaningful to say here, but was distracted by this catalog which arrived in the mail for an employee who retired some time ago.

Oh, my.

Look at this crap. This is the biggest load of poo I have seen since the Miles Kimball catalogue. Are they still around...?

Oh, yes. Still around, and still selling World's Tackiest Shit, like sock garters, female urinary containers, and the like.

Oh, my.

My grandfather, when he could still see, used to love this stuff. Now he has a bird clock that plays a different bird noise every hour, on the hour. That thing scares the scat out of me. It sounds just like real birds, except ones that just so happen to be velociraptors, and Chinese.

It frightens the bejeezus outta me.

Maybe it's a good thing he can't hear so well anymore.