Tuesday, August 09, 2005
SPEECH IMPEDIMENTZZZ
As if commercials weren't annoying enough already, now I'm losing my shit over enunciation problems.
1) The "All About the O" Overstock.com woman - I think this bitch is finally gone, or at least I haven't seen her in a while. She's German or some shit, because casting people looooove to make things more difficult for themselves instead of just hiring someone with the proper accent. I've seen it happen. Anyway, weird orange lipstick-wearing chick can't pronounce "clothes" so she says "it's all about the codes." Codes to what? You thing you hab a code? Here, have some non-non-drowsy "code" medicine, and maybe you won't notice when I put you on a plane back to Germany. Freak.
2) Jack in the Box - this round-headed CEO bastard is perpetually on my nerves, but lately I've been noticing he can't say, "fire-roasted salsa." Instead of säls-ah, he says "salzzza". Typical dumbass executive. He probably can't spell worth a damn or turn on the microwave by himself, either.
3) T-Mobil - Catherine, Catherine, Catherine. First you marry Sir Scrotum Scarybottom and squirt out his wrinkly old seed-lings, and now you're trying to look all cute with affected speech patterns. Well, fine, Zeta. I admit you're eerily, scarily beautiful. Now please stop saying "more minutessssh" instead of minutes.
Thank you.
SPEECH IMPEDIMENTZZZ1) The "All About the O" Overstock.com woman - I think this bitch is finally gone, or at least I haven't seen her in a while. She's German or some shit, because casting people looooove to make things more difficult for themselves instead of just hiring someone with the proper accent. I've seen it happen. Anyway, weird orange lipstick-wearing chick can't pronounce "clothes" so she says "it's all about the codes." Codes to what? You thing you hab a code? Here, have some non-non-drowsy "code" medicine, and maybe you won't notice when I put you on a plane back to Germany. Freak.
2) Jack in the Box - this round-headed CEO bastard is perpetually on my nerves, but lately I've been noticing he can't say, "fire-roasted salsa." Instead of säls-ah, he says "salzzza". Typical dumbass executive. He probably can't spell worth a damn or turn on the microwave by himself, either.
3) T-Mobil - Catherine, Catherine, Catherine. First you marry Sir Scrotum Scarybottom and squirt out his wrinkly old seed-lings, and now you're trying to look all cute with affected speech patterns. Well, fine, Zeta. I admit you're eerily, scarily beautiful. Now please stop saying "more minutessssh" instead of minutes.
Thank you.
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