It's time to make fun of my family again, since I've got nothing else for you but a pantsful of rabid gerbils (as usual).

Check out my aunts ca. 1970-ish. Dig the pink and orange polyester.

I can dig it. I can dig it so hard.

Sadly, 20 years later, my aunt's hair was the unfortunate victim of a raging wind tunnel.


...or maybe that was just her blow dryer.

(Why did Sears leave so much space at the top of the portrait? Was it for her hair...?)

Like I should talk. I cannot publish photos of my follicular uh...misjudgments here, for there are far too many, far too hideous for viewing with the naked eye alone.

But to be fair, there's this:

Shut up. I was totally misquoted. But the Pac-Man sticker still totally smells like cherries.

You're just totally jealous of my sticker and yellow off-brand Izod.