It still amazes me...the variety of oddball and sometimes inflammatory items I receive in the mail. AT WORK. Somehow, even in the orifice, this stuff finds its pervvy way to me. And yet the packages I send never seem to arrive at their destination. Go figure.

Yesterday, for instance, I received this "free gift":

Hey, thanks, Herb Wesson. I actually needed a potholder.
This is almost as good as the late, great Jake Pickle's squeeky pickle handouts.

Thanks for all your work with Planned Parenthood, too. You definitely have my vote, providing no drag queens or Anna Nicole Smith are in the running.

Then, there's this:

I find the pricing of this seminar rather ironic.

And last, but not least...

The recipient of this glossy brochure would like to remain anonymous. I think the face here says it all:

Er...I will just say that I am now having difficulty in passing my male co-workers without thinking about the size of their prostates ("did you know that the prostate is the power switch that turns the penis on and off?! Well?! DID YOU?! BUY!!! THE MOST POWERFUL RELIEF for men since Adam took his first pee-! PROTECT THIS FAMILY JEWEL! DID YOU KNOW?! there's a spot on your prostate gland that triggers an instantaneous erection when your partner tickles it? All she needs to do is find a tiny area located just below your testicles...and that's just one example of how a healthy prostate POWERS YOUR PENIS!!!" Uhh...yeah.

I'm wondering if I can sue this brochure for sexual harassment in the workplace. Or perhaps this potholder...er...prostate holder?

Squeeky, squeeky.