Monday, October 10, 2005


Something happened on Friday which caused me to question both my sanity and that of my (now former) friend.

They weirded me out so bad that I swear, I could see the depths of Hell, or at least Middle Earth, or maybe Sodom and/or Gomorrah - and the worms crawling in, and the worms crawling out of their eyeholes, and shaking it all about; doing the Hokey Pokey, and turning themselves around - that's what it's all about. Clap, clap.

Then, Sonny, (that bird who skarks I'M CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!) kept popping in and out of their nostrils like a Salvador Dali painting of a melting cuckoo clock.

And there weren't even any drugs involved. At least, not on my part. Yet it took me most of the weekend to get the freak flies off of me. GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OOOOOF-!!!

Don't you hate that? Being creeped out by someone who ain't even worth your time...and like other medical conditions such as the cooties or the creeping crud, it takes too damn long for the ickyness to go away.

I was heebie-jeebied out so bad, folks, I actually decided to be normal.

It lasted about a quarter of a day. Right up until this morning. By noon, I had done the following:

-described, in great detail, the perfectly pretzel-shaped turd I saw at the dog park to a superior and executive (Cranky said it must have been a Bavarian pretzel hound.)

-told off someone in HR

-gagged and bondaged (?) my co-worker's stuffed Bullwinkle w/ Scotch tape & rubber bands

So things are back to normal. Er. As it were.


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