Just got back from the gynecologist, and all I got was this lousy cuntwipe.

Wow. I am truly impressed by this collection. Too bad they already have one of these.

At least they did not give me a "Mammo-wipe."

However, I was subjected to the fastest professional groping ever. She was even faster than most guys. I was seriously wondering "is it in yet?" and "wha' happen? Was that it?" I cannot recall if she even used a speculum. I didn't feel a damned thing.

I feel shortchanged. Not even violated.
Then she gave me the wrong prescription and I was too bummed to even deal with it.

I want my $10 copay back.

Maybe that's what I get for leaving smartassed answers on all my forms.
Q: Do you do breast self-examinations?
A: Sort of.
Q: What is the date of your last period?
A: You really expect me to remember these things?
Q: Emergency contact?
A: Cranky.
Q: Relationship?
A: ??!??
Q: Have you ever had sex?
A: You tell me.
Q: Are your partners -men -women -both?
A: Mostly.

Well, my test results will be available online in 2-3 weeks. So impersonal. At least last year, I got a phone call.

Not even a finger up the butt for my trouble.
She wasn't very thorough.

Bitch, I only do this once a year. I expect to get my money's worth.