Thursday, December 01, 2005


I poo on your Charmin.

Please have your butt-wiping, shitting-in-the-woods bears stop waving their dingleberry-free asses in my face. It is a little too much to take, even for the likes of me.

I do not care for this campaign. What happened to "don't squeeze the [m.f'ing] Charmin?" Mr. Whipple was cute, and also 100% crap-free. You don't have to hit us over the head with waggling bear ass.

Furthermore, smudging toothpaste on a person's hand to demonstrate the dookie-wiping abilities of your tp is rather graphic, don't you think? Also irrelevant, as poo does not a) smell like toothpaste - if this were the case, no one would care, and our butts would be all minty fresh; or b) behave like toothpaste...not unless you have a colostomy bag. This is no more effective than the Smurf menstrual blood commercials for feminine hygiene products.

Charmin, I think you underestimate me.

Don't flatter yourself.


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