(Well, it is to me, but I'm not well.)

Am I hideously wrong for thinking this is funny...? (In the more extensive coverage I saw on the news, the girl claimed she merely wished to write "Merry Christmas" in snow on the windshield; the neighbor thought she was vandalizing his car. And who can blame him? Damn miscreants.) I mean, just picture it:

GIRL: Tra la la la la, Merry Christmas everybody-!
PAINTBALL: Whack...! SPLAT.
GIRL: Ow...my eye!

Sorry. I'm already starting to o.d. on holiday spirit.

Also, I spent 3 hrs. at the vet last night, reading People magazine - a surefire way to cause brain death - during which, I reaffirmed the following:

Rich white trash is gross.

She scares me. Yeah, I dig her chili, but if she could just...calm down a little.

MySpace is creepy.

(What did they really expect to happen? Gun and knife enthusiasts who are also religious whackos who also have angry, kidnappy teenagers in the house = bad mix. Not that anyone deserved to die here, but Jesus. (Exactly.) And as for the girl's poor parents...well, they baptized her in a hot tub. Of course she was going to pubertate too soon. I'm not sayin' she's a skank, but she gives a whole new meaning to "Amber Alert." Sheesh.)

Come on in, the hellwater's fine...!