Morning:

The stench of 5,000 lbs. of steer manure being spread across the lawns of my uppity neighbors. Why they can't use less smelly compost is beyond me. Guess it's a form of Keeping Up with the Joneses, but I didn't think one-upmanship would extend to poo.

Then at work, more poo:

The charming aroma of hot ass from the security guard.

My so-called coverage being A.W.O.L. and nobody warned me.

Everybody bitching about same to ME, even thought I'm the only pooper-scooper here with a normal work schedule.

Having to clean up a bunch of poop* I didn't fling.

The soothing sounds of a car chase (being mixed for a flim) all. Day. Long.

Copier malfunction.

Standing next to the cute guy** attempting to fix copier malfunction for me, but I have nasty-assed coffee breath.

I hate name-droppers. I also hate clowns. Managed to hear this from name-dropping clown: I used to know Marceau; I was a mime and a clown for years...***

Just what I needed first thing on a Monday.

*figurative, paperwork poop.
**he couldn't fix it, either, but I noticed his knuckles are hairy.****
***YIKES.
****I also hate monkeys.