Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Someone just gave me a wedgie.

Cat wedgie.

Oh, how it burns my hole.

My cat hole.

He said it was called a "Melvin." What's the diff? Discuss.

Awww. Doesn't this just make you want to bust out with a rousing rendition of "Ebony and Ivory"...? Too bad the hamster's name means "Lunch".

Hamster Sandwich? Gerbil-to-Go...?

All four of my cats now have herpes. I am beyond pissed as they are actually not promiscuous, and are strictly indoor cats. According to what I've been reading, 70-90% of cats have cat herpes. But just try telling that to the cat.

They need Valtrex. For their cat herpes.

Speaking of life sentences, I read this intriguing discussion this morning over at Maine's. I don't know about you, but I think the idea of sentencing someone to death, then resuscitating them only to have them killed again is just plain goofy.

Or, they might take that idea and run with it. They could kill the guy, resuscitate him, kill him again, resuscitate him, and then kill him daid again, depending on the number of victims.

But nooooo. That would be cruel and unusual. But so is cockfighting. I say, Let Them Eat Cock. And rapists should be pecked to death by chickens. And Colonel Sanders...wait. He's already dead.

Also on the list of Dead or Not? I Keep Forgetting:
Frank Sinatra
George Burns
Johnny Carson
The "Don't Squeeze the Charmin Guy"

Cat herpes?

Not to make light of stiffs 'n capital punishment, but why is it that the day you wear pants which are inclined to fall down, just so happens to also be the day you are wearing embarrassing Guido-type underpants, i.e. leopard print...?

Don't make fun of me. They're my cousin's.

You know you're from Texas when you're wearing hand-me-down (actually, hand-me-up) used, leopard print underwear from your cousin.

In fact, when this Miss Piss first pubertated, it was on panties formerly belonging to her cousin Whiffy Q. (who now breeds Labradors in Golden, CO for a living). Ma Pisser said, "but you're only eleven! Are you sure it's not Whiffy's...?"

Ew. Too much informa-shun. Squishy.

No wonder I have cat herpes.


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