No, I am not one of those people who checks the obituaries to make sure I'm not in them (Grandma F!) I was just browsing for info on a gentleman who used to work for our company when I encountered these. I've been snorting and tittering ever since:

Names have been changed to protect the innocent(?).

Actor Fuckup Penn, 40, Is Found Dead - I am so sick of hearing about people being "found dead" in their apartments. -Cranky

Muffy Mufferson, 78; Writer, Psychotherapist, Activist Helped Establish L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center [hoOray!] R.I.P.

Dookey Hammyhock, Pioneer in Drag
Racing as Driver, Designer, Builder and Businessman - What unfortunate phrasing...R.I.P.

Dick Brown, 57; Ex-Ram Receiver Played 11 Seasons in the NFL - yet more unfortunate phrasing.

Dr. Beavis Snippy, 82; World Renowned Sex-Change Surgeon - "was known for turning tiny Trinidad, CO into the 'Sex-Change Capital of the World.' ...had said his sex-change patients included politicians, actors, models, police officers, judges, clergymen, teachers, a 245-pound linebacker, three Georgia brothers and an 84-year-old man 'who wanted to die as a female.' Over the years he refined the procedure and boasted...that his work was so good that one former patient was married to a gynecologist who didn't suspect a thing." Whoa. Dr. Beavis Snippy. Rest in Pieces.

Dino "Sore" Dong, 66; Artist Who Created Playful Dinosaur Skeletons From Car Parts Only in L.A. R.I.P.

Check here if you don't believe me.

I'm glad this isn't the only place people migrate to become professional weirdos.