I tried to watch this last night. Really, I tried.

Normally, I would say, hey. Like it or not, the guy is our Commander in Chief, duly elected by the majority of people in our nation today who read at a third-grade level, and even though he stole that first election, the will of the citizenry and blah blah blah. Hell. I can even summon a certain fondness for the deceased President Reagan, I mean, yeah, turning all those criminally insane folks loose on Los Angeles wasn't too keen, but he looked and sounded so damned spiffy. I mean, presidential. I can even say that of Bush I, "The One-Terminator". Sadly, the poop-flinging whippersnapper, Bush II "Oh, Sh*t" is still loose in our Oval Orifice.

This character...I'm convinced that a zoo somewhere is missing its monkey. Aww, cripes. I believe in evolution and all, but c'mon. This is ridiculous.

As you've probably guessed, I didn't do too well. Mostly, I came up with this list:

THINGS TO DO DURING THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS:
Instead of watching the State of the Union Address.
-Dishes.
-Sigh heavily.
-Groom self and cat ass. Pick non-existent fleas off same.
-Contemplate my navel. Navels are kind of gross.
-Look around for stuff to clean.
-See Bonzo pay lip service to environmental causes. Ha. Funny.
-Bonzo bad. No banana.
-Break stuff.
-Roll eyes.
-Cry.
-Simultaneously pat head and rub tummy.
-Dig Sen. Barack "Where's the Beef?" Obama. Enjoy repeating "Barack Obama" to self.
-Entertain girl-on-girl fantasy about Natalie Maines.
-Switch to PBS; watch documentary on why terrorists are all so pissed off all the time.
-Ponder our country's real problems (courtesy of A. Supertramp)
-Wonder why Prez Bush's flag lapel pin is semi-erect, but Cheney's is flaccid.
-Take a big, hot, steaming dump.

You...?