Monday, February 27, 2006


Inspired by Avatar, who has me thinking that branding your asses might actually be a viable early warning system for potential mates.

Of course, you wouldn't want them anywhere too obvious, lest an accidental wardrobe malfunction enlighten the entire workplace that you do, indeed, enjoy anal fisting. No, I think they belong somewhere visible without getting nekkid, but not readily noticeable without the brand-ee's permission.

Not that I'm suggesting anyone would be forcibly tattooed. Think of it as a voluntary thing, like a background check or a resume. No...?

Just think, a quick peek behind the ears (like a greyhound's tattoos - you don't want them to be located anywhere too personal or else you may be to worked up to heed the warnings and bring the proceedings to a screeching halt) and you have the majority of the info you need to decide whether your potential partner is worth even scrumping.

But in order to prevent fakery, I'm thinking there needs to be a branch of government created just to deal with this. Oooh! How very anti-Handmaid's Tale. There would have to be a lot of certification, research, and licensing. I'm up for it...how 'bout you? Hell, maybe I'd even want to work there. My title: Bullshit Detector.

Anyway, here are my contributions to Avatar's ingenious early warning system for ass:


Good night and good luck-!


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