I know it's trite, but these never cease to amuse me and I've got fuck-all for a Monday.

I can only imagine how they got here. Probably looking for advice on how to have sex with their breakfast cereal or etc.

schmee schmee coco puff (sister of Anne R. Key?)
Dominican blow dry technique Hrm...
Atkins constipation trouble urinating headache Well, yeah. Moron.
pant sniffing compulsions OCD (thas' me!)
buttocks- wild orchid 1 Sniff my pants-orchid, yeah. My Crotchial Lily-of-the Nile. But watch out for the tarantula...
mens skidmarks eh...not so much here.
fisting fury Oh, dearie, let me get the Crisco...
"...today I thank God for Flarp Noise Putty..." People thank G_d for the damnedest things. No wonder He never gets around to anything, like, say, world peace...
micro chips smell like cat pee I'll just take their word for it, thanks.
meth in your kitchen in 3 hours Oh, NO! Not AGAIN...knock it off, Mom-!
Georgia deceased female models And why not.
"suck an egg" etymology
barbie+da bratz You knew it was only a matter of time before they started cross-breeding.
"having a really heavy period" Why me?!...oh.
smoke my cock Okay-! Explain how!
Clavamox side effects honking dog (!!!)How alarming.
Vagin-o-matic Yes. You rang...?
Jessica Alba demon fear Me, too.
bong gurgling I think they meant to go here. I like it, though, I think I'll use it. As in, "shut your bong-gurgling hole."
Cucumber Links-Anal Sex
... redhead amateur with tattoos tries anal. Natashas Nasty Ass - Natasha screams through her first anal plumbing ... Anal Mad Whores...Video clips of extreme deep anal actions over here ...

You go ahead, I'll stay here. I like my produce to remain fecal-free. I'm not that organic...but I think I will change my name to "Nasty A** Natasha," yeah. That'll be my stage name.

No, I will not be working in Los Angeles. They don't allow my kind to be nekkid here...I think it's the law.