Hattie Cupcake posing with Mr. Squeeky Tentacles & Mr. Bitey PEZ Dispenser

Yes, my editor friend and I have officially lost our tiny little pea-brains up in here. For some reason? We IM like we hef Russian Jew heccent (I am a Texas Jew; she is Israeli). F*ck spellcheck:

pissah : I got potholders whut look like matzoh!
k_dawg : WHAT?
pissah : I got potholders whut look like matzoh!
k_dawg : noice!

Translation: we are excited about Passover. Also the Easter cupcakes in the kitchen. And, I got us present(s)-! For Easter-! For Jew-!!! Hint: IZ PEZ DEESPENSER(S)!!! EXPENSIVE GIFT, luxury item, not to mention useful-!

pissah : I hef prrresent for your desk, you peeck.
k_dawg : I no peeck!
pissah : No, ees ON my desk...you peeck!
k_dawg : I NO PEECK!!!
k_dawg : ...
k_dawg : Well... does it have a hat?
pissah : Sorta.
k_dawg : is it a cupcake with a hat on? because those just creep me out. I saw a couple of them out in the kitchen.
pissah : Eet ees NOT beeger than a breadbox
pissah : I wanna goddamn cupcake-!
k_dawg : you want i should bring you hattie cupcake?
k_dawg : oops, sorry. a goddamn cupcake?
pissah : YES I WANNA GODDAMN HATTIE CUPCAKE!!!
k_dawg : hokay, i bring you hattie cupcake
k_dawg : hold you horses.

And...HERE IT IS! Wait for it, wait for...oh. You've already seen it. Fuck.


And her "present" (don't ask me what this thing is)....she send me peecture! With fone-!


And now in profile-!

Floating head = noice, very Op Art-!

AAAAH! IT'S COMIN' TO GET ME-!

...but I GET HER BACK...!!!


GETTING KLOSER...!


Then, I leave it outside her door, and ni...uh, knock and RUN AWAY.

She see me anyway and say, "tard". And claimed that I had interrupted a v. important photo shoot.

Then, things went rapidly south...

"The love that dare not speek it's name... I TOLD you I was in de meedle of a wary important photo shoot!"
Ha-HA! Mine were even vorse-!
Gettin' ready fo' to pimp-slap de ho.


pissah : Still haven't eaten cupcake; am staring at it in bewildered awe...
pissah : I put some PEZ!
pissah : spare tire in there, toO
pissah : ALso some hair I find on floOr!
k_dawg : EW
k_dawg : WAS IT KRUSTY?
k_dawg : I can't believe you still haven't eaten it-!

Oh no-!, HERE COMES MISTER LEEZARD-!

CUPCAKE GOOOOOOD!!!

But I showed heem...

Goddamn leezard, tryin' to eat my goddamn hattie cupcake...

Goddamn pilot season...this is all its fault.