1) If you were attempting to fly today with a child that did not come out of your own Personal Region, and you needed to carry breast milk that wasn't yours on the plane in order to feed said infink, would Security make you taste it, anyway? Because, if so, pleeggggh.

Plus, exploding lipgloss!

Because I am an asshole, I would be freaking out without my lotion, because black girls get ashy...but, sniffer dogs!

2) If a tabloid claims a celebrity is with child, and takes pictures of them with their "bump" circled and arrows pointing to their midsection in an accusatory manner, and they are not actually pregnant, but merely, say, happy, so they ate, say, a carb, or gorged on buttercream frosting samples for their upcoming nuptials...don't they get pissed? I know I would.

...oh, wait. Celebrities aren't ever not pregnant. Silly me.