Thursday, August 24, 2006


1) NPR, which I had previously though was radio for halfway intelligent people, really let me down last night when they let some stupid hetero-housewife busybody twunt from Washington state go on talking about a "gang" of killer raccoons and the pet owners who hate them. What she failed to mention was, trapping does not solve the problem - racs are territorial; you take an older, dominant critter out, you get five juvenile delinquent 'coons in. The key is:
a) not to feed them and/or leave pet food outside if you don't want them around, and
b) TO KEEP YOUR ANIMALS, especially cats and smaller dogs, INSIDE. Dumbass.

Why this simple solution never occurred to her, I don't know. Sure, your cat may love being outside; what he does not love is being infected with feline leukemia/AIDS, getting into an altercation with a wild animal (which can't just go to Ricky Raccoon's Quick Stop for its food; they're just tryin' to make a living, going about their raccoon business, assholes), and turned into a Kitty flavored Eggo by a car...and how come NPR doesn't let people go on the air yammering about Stupid Evil CARS when they kill your cat while they were just going about their car business? Probably because a car didn't kill your cat; YOU killed your cat by letting it run free outside. Stupid WASPy BITCH.

2) This morning on Adam Carolla's show, the guy who run's the Megan's Law site informed us that child molesters may not register their real address, but that of their parents. They may be living right next to you and you will have no way of knowing about it. Also, if it was a case of incest, they are not registered as a sex offender, 'cuz, you know. It's a private family matter. Gee, I guess incest really is best-!

3) Paris Hilton...is.

4) Reality shows still are, also. Here's one my dear friend Ejo mentioned about a water park near my hometown. Its name is Schlitterbahn. This is German, I think, for "floating turd in a swimming pool." Hmph. What next, a reality show about jizz moppers?

5) This useless, faceless, blogless, sexless fuckhole who has the gall to pick a fight with me and then ask for an autographed crotch shot. Apparently it is his/her/its quest in life to go around critiquing other people's stuff...troll. Shouldn't they be living under a bridge somewhere, frightening little children? And d'ya ever notice how people who aren't especially pretty call themselves "Pretty McPrettyPants", those with micro-manmeat go by "Long Don Johnson", and people who aren't particularly witty pick "Slappy McFierce"?!

6) WHAT IN GOD'S BALLS IS THIS?! A Stick-Up for your crotch?!

Chafes my hide...literally.


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