Wednesday, August 16, 2006


You know, I am way too senti-fucking-mental sometimes.

Cases in point:

1) My toenail polish is purplish-green (Wacky Khaki Tobaccy?) on top of pinkish-red (Raspberry Poot?) on top of Fire-Engine Slut Red, because last time I painted them properly, Zippy was still alive. So I won't remove the bottom coat, but am letting it grow out. HEY, I'M IN MOURNING, GODDAMNIT-!...er, I do realize that toenail polish has nothing to do with my dead cat. Except there's maybe some of his hair stuck in it. Probably.

2) Speaking of cats and hairs, Beeker really needs his ball-ectomy soon. I mean, really, really soon. He keeps shimmying up my leg in the night and marking me as his own, and I'm running out of sheets. No, I did not save the pee...but I wouldn't mind keeping his balls in a jar (get it?)on my desk. a) They are cute and PERKY! b) Hell...I'm paying for his operation, why can't I have 'em back? Biohazard, shmiohazard. They're OUR balls! We paid for them. c) I'll bet that would keep annoying co-workers the hell away from my damn desk.

3) Too much crap is retained in my purse/closet/car, including stubs from tickets from movies which I hated because I saw them with a Certain Special Someone, even if we both hated it and/or had a fight about going to see it and/or *I* hated it and he didn't (V for Vendetta), or I slept through it (Star Wars: Episode III) or, he insisted upon seeing (Wild Wild West); we fought, he won, we ended up seeing it, he ended up hating it, I found it halfway tolerable, and then we got on a plane to Hawaii, and guess what was the in-flight movie? So...yeah. Stupid.

Also, there's the fact that everything eventually ends up on the floor, where it composts and/or is decoratively sprinkled with urine by the cat. So eventually is thrown out, anyway. Eventually.

4) Speaking of which, I should really chunk all love letters (ew)*, photos, etc. of ex-boyfriends, or cut out the half of the picture with them in it and not glorious me, being stupid, totally oblivious to the fact that he's simultaneously playing grab-ass with six other girls who are standing out of frame. Although then it would be harder to make fun of them in my dotage. Heh, heh, eh, sonny?

4) ...I forgot what I was saying. Oh, well.

5) I won't throw away shit. And by shit, I really mean shit. When I lost Zippy almost three months ago, he had a little...accidente on the floor and I won't finish cleaning it up...because HE made it! It's all I have left of him...POO!Well, that and the ashes.

*I used to save worse things from boys, in my stupid youth. No, I will not tell you what. Except...biohazard.


Inspired by a post from Arthist99 in Macon, GA...go help Barkley! If my boss ever decides to pay me, I'm going to. I wuv him very much even though he is infested with heartworms...


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