Wednesday, September 06, 2006


I've been a bad, bad squirrel.

Here's some crap excuses if you care to know (sad, but true):

1) I've been working on this
2) and this
3) and this
4) I'm supposedly getting a new job. Cross phalanges.
5) Killy introduced me to this...daaaamn you, you and your cute pants...
6) It was Labor Day Weekend. I was laboring.
7) We went hiking at Joshua Tree, where bunnies nibbled Cranky's pants and coyotes will eat your sneakers...but no tampon-sniffing bears I guess
8) I 8 eight. And some bad clams. OU812?
9) Cramps.
10) Beverly Hills sucks, my car stalled in the permit-only (which is pretty much everything) zone, I was late for a doctor's appt. and I got a $40 parking ticket
11) It took me two hours to get there & back to work, because in order to keep us po' white trash out, Bev. Hills decided its streets should be numbered accordingly: 400 N. to 300 N. to 100 N. to 100 S. to 200 N. (Only non-residents don't know that this makes no sense, apparently.)
12) Dang back-to-school traffic...why should I have to suffer? I don't even have kids.
13) It's the plumber...he's come to fix the sink shower, which was leaking through the floor into my neighbor's apartment. Therefore, I no longer have a shower. Or hot water. I smell poorly. My apartment is not my own. Every morning, I literally have to herd cats so he doesn't let them out/step on them/flush them. When I come home, I can't even poop for fear of gassing us both out. He's been in there for a goddamn week, but do I get a rent reduction for the inconvenience? No.

Questions? Comments? Complaints?


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