Monday, November 06, 2006


Today, I look like a particularly strung-out member of Guns n' Roses...in the present day.

It looks like Slash took a dump on my head.

Like Donald Trump's toupee crawled up there and died.

I met a guy who could work with it once on a photo shoot, but he worked for that guy, remember that guy who caused the big stink about Bill Clinton's several hundred dollar-'do? Yeah, it was that guy. (Though, why you would pay someone that much to make it look like a deceased badger lived on your head, I don't know.)(Yeah, I'd still do him.)

Aherm. So anyway, Carlos moved to Prive and no longer cuts hair. That's right. He does color exclusively and that Japanese straightening thing. I guess doing mine sent him over the edge. And even if it hadn't, I have no business setting foot in a place that charges $60 just to look at you, and that doesn't even include a blow-out.

I guess I should start going to some punk rock salon in Silverlake, where my very bleach-happy friend once quoted her stylist as saying, "your hair is SO damaged...cool."

Actually, I belong here, but I don't feel like being The Lone Honky without any ethnic friend as Tonto to make me look halfway hip, as all of them are too busy being in national commercials. Shee.

I'd like a new hairdresser, but I hate that snobby way they assess your Brillo-head, like, what am I supposed to do with this?

Once, I actually had a guy say, "this piece is a lost cause." And that was before a crazy hair and makeup person with a flat iron singed it half to death on the set of a bad hip-hop music video in which I am never seen. Oh, that was totally worth it.

Another time, the hair lady sighed in exasperation and said, "your HAIR..." and just sadly shook her head.

It's as if part of their sales strategy is to make you feel like shit about your appearance; then, and only then, can they get you to rely on them to make you look halfway passable. Must be why the ones that don't feel they have to offer that particular "service" become so popular, you can't even get an appointment anymore.

Insulting hairdressers can suck the split ends off my ass hairs.


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