Welcome, "Hamster Penis" Googlers!

I may or may not be getting a hamster (Star of Ham). Guy at work's daughter isn't taking care of said ham star; I think teaching children that pets are disposable is a shitty lesson, but Jesus crisps - if you only live a thousand days, hell. Life's too short to live is a stinky plastic box.

I have known others who have had Ham Stars and cats and made it work, so I figure why not?

After doing some half-assed research, I have become enlightened as to the following:

-There are a ton of ham stars, guinea pigs, rabbits, etc. at the pound in need of adoption, so even if I am not the proud recipient of this particular hammy, may get mahsalf a rescue peeg.

Said Ham Star is a "teddy bear" ham star. How will I know what he is under the hair? Is he a Robrovski Hamster, a Syrian Hamster, a Chinese Hamster?!

-Please, no racial or ethnic jokes here, Don Imus.

-Actually, jokes of all color (and off-color) are encouraged. I'm full of hamster doots.

-When examined, female hamsters have two holes close together whereas males have anal and genital openings further apart than the female's (the member is usually withdrawn into the coat and thus appears as a hole or pink pimple). -Wikipedia

So you know I had to look.

Now I'm off my feed again.