Monday, July 09, 2007


-Five. What a weird number of toes to have.

-I started buying these for Toolie; now my office smells like barbecued bull c*ck.

-Trying to do too many things at the same time will only result in getting toothpaste on the dog.

-How in the hell do I keep getting deodorant on my shirt. The armpit is concave. How does that keep happening?!

-Does anyone else think that a woman who calls her boyfriend "honey" or "babe" every 2.5 seconds is possessive and weird? Or am I just a bitter old hag.

-I suspect your answer is "yes."

-Why did I never run into people from my past in the grocery store when I was too skinny? Possibly because I never ate food, but I still needed tp and gritty kitty litter, goddamnit.



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