Saturday, January 13, 2007
LOCK UP YOUR EYEBALLS
Lately I have been rather ooked out (ook = -Stephanie).
Have been huddled under the covers watching absolute crap TV with multiple cat asses on my head, and I can safely say that nothing that comes out of our respective holes could match the ick factor in commercials today.
Two especially sick ones I've noticed crossing the hell over the line lately:
Afrin - Were those not two computer generated, animated boogers I just saw?! Please tell me it was just some bad clams I ate. If not, I expect to see a CGI kid wiping his CGI boogers on the wall, any day now.
These nose goblins are somehow worse than the Mucinex phlegm globber family.
Clearblue Easy - Very nice 3D looking pregnancy test in 360° view, boasting that it is the most advanced technology "that you've ever...well. You know," and then...AND THEN, a CGI stream of URINE - and it is NOT blue* - majestically cascades down, like Niagara Falls, from an off-camera, CGI muff**, and chaos ensues.
Ad execs? We've talked about this before. To review: 1) This Barbie (sadly, no longer available) came with a peeing cat - and featured a picture of it...uh, in action - on the packaging. 2) H&R Block, or similar, commercial in which a baby actually peed on camera. Or, a PA with a squirt gun did - but still! Listen up, suits: pee - even simulated, CGI pee = not okay.
Not before dinner, not after dinner, not anytime.
*it is not yellow, either, but...just you wait. I predict, this time next year: CGI poo.
**by the way? If you do not know where the vagina is, then you have no business getting pregnant.
To reiterate: bodily fluids - blue, red, green, clear, purple, or otherwise - on TV, or anywhere outside of a magazine in a plain brown wrapper - NOT okay.
LOCK UP YOUR EYEBALLSHave been huddled under the covers watching absolute crap TV with multiple cat asses on my head, and I can safely say that nothing that comes out of our respective holes could match the ick factor in commercials today.
Two especially sick ones I've noticed crossing the hell over the line lately:
Afrin - Were those not two computer generated, animated boogers I just saw?! Please tell me it was just some bad clams I ate. If not, I expect to see a CGI kid wiping his CGI boogers on the wall, any day now.
These nose goblins are somehow worse than the Mucinex phlegm globber family.
Clearblue Easy - Very nice 3D looking pregnancy test in 360° view, boasting that it is the most advanced technology "that you've ever...well. You know," and then...AND THEN, a CGI stream of URINE - and it is NOT blue* - majestically cascades down, like Niagara Falls, from an off-camera, CGI muff**, and chaos ensues.
Ad execs? We've talked about this before. To review: 1) This Barbie (sadly, no longer available) came with a peeing cat - and featured a picture of it...uh, in action - on the packaging. 2) H&R Block, or similar, commercial in which a baby actually peed on camera. Or, a PA with a squirt gun did - but still! Listen up, suits: pee - even simulated, CGI pee = not okay.
Not before dinner, not after dinner, not anytime.
*it is not yellow, either, but...just you wait. I predict, this time next year: CGI poo.
**by the way? If you do not know where the vagina is, then you have no business getting pregnant.
To reiterate: bodily fluids - blue, red, green, clear, purple, or otherwise - on TV, or anywhere outside of a magazine in a plain brown wrapper - NOT okay.
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